I have held and tasted freedom; felt the warmth of beauty; seen the vibrancy of colors, the smiles of mothers holding their child for the first time.

I have felt the joy of friendship and family; laughed without the sting of emptiness lasting after the smile ends and the sun fades into the distance.  I miss it.

Freedom from the darkness that shades me, the black hole that made me into the whore my mother never was, the b*tch that never loves, the eager smile that does whatever he wants.

I held freedom so tightly in my clenched fingers and expected it wholeheartedly to linger forever but they say nothing lasts forever but death.  They forgot the depth of my darkness because it seems never ending like an abyss.

I loosened my grip on freedom when the pain consumed me, I wrapped myself in chains and started to lose me in the darkness.  And now freedom feels so far away and the voices they beg me to stay for a while.  Even though I want to leave, can’t feel my steps, can’t hardly breathe.  Can’t see the light that I once knew that bought my freedom, others’ too. Now all I want…no…all I need is someone who can set me free…once more.  Close the door of the past and have another chance to love and remember how it was…

To hold and taste freedom; feel the warmth of beauty; see the vibrancy of colors the smiles of mothers holding their child for the first time.


~ by livedlovedlost on November 24, 2013.

2 Responses to “Freedom”

  1. Very intense writing. I have felt the emotions you’ve described here.

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